I’ve been known to yell in the direction of a small person. I don’t yell terrible things, unless, like said young person, you find “STOP SCREAMING,” “YOU DO NOT HIT ME IN THE FACE!” or “IT WILL NOT STOP HURTING UNTIL YOU POOP!” to be terribly unjust things to yell. LB has two responses. When she realizes she has done something wrong and is embarrassed, she howls like her little heart will break, and requires a hug. When she feels that I’m the one who has behaved badly and blamed her without cause, she wheels around and howls in my face. And I apologize.
And I have to say that I think that’s a better dynamic for both of us than me going behind a closed door to pound my head on the floor while a child screams. She learns that someone can be angry at you, but they’ll still love you. And, that if someone is unfair, you can use your big voice to defend yourself. I get to feel like a human being who’s actually allowed to have emotions.